Thursday, August 25, 2005


After two weeks of uncertainty, this was my chance to get into the intermediate table tennis team. It was my desire to represent my school in three sports - Soccer, Table Tennis and Athletics. But it was just a dream... a dream that started off in humility and ended in a nightmare of pride.

I don't know what came over me today as i succumbed to four year nine players -.-" My technique was rusty, and i foolishly splashed some water on the rubber of the bat just before the session started. But now that i think about it, i had so many chances to win those games, but i couldn't deliver the last blow. Something was stopping me... Sigh... maybe it's because i was getting a little too proud. Maybe it's because God doesn't want me to have too many committments... or maybe, i'm just a failure.

I've always gone about putting my 100% into stuff that i like, especially Soccer. And i don't like to lose for one. If i enter a competition that i've trained hard for, i don't expect to come anything below the top 3. But i'm starting to realise that... maybe, just maybe, i'm too idealistic.

I'm really confused right now. A long time ago, i remember telling someone older than me that i'll never be proud even if i was the best at something. But now, i don't know... do i boast? Sigh... i may even be boasting without knowing it. I used to think that a true, good sportsmen is someone who keep his head low in humility, who lets his actions do the talking and others do his boasting.

Argh.. i've got Athletics trials tomorrow, and i can't afford to stuff this one up. Table-Tennis was my third priority, and i didn't train much for it. But Athletics... it's a talent that God's given me... and i'm gonna run till my last breath with gratefulness and humility.

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