Pride

After two weeks of uncertainty, this was my chance to get into the intermediate table tennis team. It was my desire to represent my school in three sports - Soccer, Table Tennis and Athletics. But it was just a dream... a dream that started off in humility and ended in a nightmare of pride.

I don't know what came over me today as i succumbed to four year nine players -.-" My technique was rusty, and i foolishly splashed some water on the rubber of the bat just before the session started. But now that i think about it, i had so many chances to win those games, but i couldn't deliver the last blow. Something was stopping me... Sigh... maybe it's because i was getting a little too proud. Maybe it's because God doesn't want me to have too many committments... or maybe, i'm just a failure.

I've always gone about putting my 100% into stuff that i like, especially Soccer. And i don't like to lose for one. If i enter a competition that i've trained hard for, i don't expect to come anything below the top 3. But i'm starting to realise that... maybe, just maybe, i'm too idealistic.

I'm really confused right now. A long time ago, i remember telling someone older than me that i'll never be proud even if i was the best at something. But now, i don't know... do i boast? Sigh... i may even be boasting without knowing it. I used to think that a true, good sportsmen is someone who keep his head low in humility, who lets his actions do the talking and others do his boasting.

Argh.. i've got Athletics trials tomorrow, and i can't afford to stuff this one up. Table-Tennis was my third priority, and i didn't train much for it. But Athletics... it's a talent that God's given me... and i'm gonna run till my last breath with gratefulness and humility.