Thursday, November 24, 2005

Relentless Anger

Today's events reminded me of the old days when i used to be unimaginably immature, full of pointless hate and anger at people. Whatever i did was right in my eyes, and whatever displeased me was either eradicated or neglected. I had trapped myself in this world of immature isolation which caused me to do stupid things that i'm still quite embarrassed about. I know it's all part of growing up, but will this immature sinful nature within us be annihilated completely, or will it just be diluted with the strong bonds to professionalism and to social norms.

I regret going to school today. Half the class wagged anyway. We spent the first period playing cards, the next two watching this hilarious show called "Anchorman". Then Joash, Jase and i spent the entire fourth period walking around the school trying to find our German class. haha! The fifth period was spent practicing for Speech Night, and we were dismissed at the start of the 6th period -.-""""

I guess the climax of the day was when Jase gave into his raging temper, almost gave Tommy the bashing of his life, and booted the ball at Banh. No, it's not funny. I actually got pretty pissed at the way Jase behaved. Here's what happened. Jase failed to "flick" the ball up into his grasp at Flinders this morning, so Tommy and Co. had to bag him about it all the way to school. At lunch, Jase wanted to play Soccer on the Oval, but Tommy and Co. prefered the Tennis courts. I wasn't there at the start of the argument, but when i got down there, Jase had the ball in his hands and was about to leave for the oval with Leo, Phan and Calvin. So i calmed Jase down, and told him that we should discuss this in a proper fashion, as men.

However, Tommy started criticising Jase (couldn't hear what he said) till he blew his top off and charged at Tommy. Whoa... trust me, he was PISSED AS! I had to hold him back, and i was surprised that no one came to my aid. Yea, i had to keep at it, talking some sense into him, for a few minutes before he could cool down. Sigh... i don't know why he had to react like that. It's exactly how some immature dude would react. I mean, i know he's smart, and he's better than that.

That wasn't it though. Halfway through our Soccer game on the Tennis courts, Jase made a powerful volley through an open goal. Well, the thing was, Banh was sitting on a ledge just behind the goals and he thought that Jase was trying to get him with the ball. So he made some sarcastic remark. Jase ignored him at first, but apparently Banh told him to "shoot the ball at me!" And that's what Jase did. He pick the ball up and booted it straight at Banh from a point blank range. Whoa... that was all i could take, i wasn't gonna protect him. Banh ran up to Jase and almost beat the living daylights outta him, but he was better than that. It was wise of him to step down.

I don't know what was going through Jase's mind, but i do know that he can't carry on like this. All i can do is to set a good example, pray and hope that he humbles himself to learn to be better than violence.

We're going to have four periods of sining through recess tomorrow, and i seriously don't wanna spend a second in school tmr, but my mum doesn't want me to wag -.-"""" Argh.. i guess it's kindda wrong to wag, and to dishonour my mum's opinion. So yea, i'm just gonna sit through hell anyway. My dad just left for Sydney yesterday, and i won't see him for two months. The next time i'll see him will be back in Singapore. God, please be with him =)

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