I've finally managed to fix the pictures up =)
Look at the sunset. That's true Beauty!
The MHS dudes getting all ready for Futsal!
An irrevokeable gift from God,
Most squander and put to waste,
Yet tis so widely sought.
It brings growth and joy,
As though love and peace had finally met.
But folly does it foolish act,
Leaving me in silent silent regret.
It pains my heart,
To see time fly by,
Not know how to use it,
And then let loose a regretful sigh.
*Thank you God for bring me to my senses.
I guess that somewhat summaries the reasons i've decided to quit DOTA. As i was playing dota two nights ago, i felt extremely bored. Then i felt God impressing on me that it was SUCH a waste of time. I realised that i had been neglecting some friends and family just because of dota. Then it occured to me that dota could actually be a weapon used by satan to rob us of what's most valuable - Time.
I mean, i would be much better off spending those two hours every night more productively; like having a chat with my parents, my sister, or with other friends. Or i could just spend the time worshipping God and composing more songs and poems for him. I've realised that i haven't written a proper poem for God in more than a month! What a waste of a gift God has given me!
I've just uninstalled Warcraft3 from my comp, and i feel liberated now =) This stupid game has wrecked quite a bit of havoc for me. Especially my relationship with Chris. I remember some time ago, i think it was 6 or 7 months back, when everyone started playing dota and when lotsa younger youths were getting addicted to it and were playing into the wee hours of the night. Naturally, their parents grew angry and pushed the blame on Chris and Qynn. I wasn't aware of that until i realised that there was this "cold war" going on between Chris and some of the older dudes, like Nick, Pete and them. So i asked Chris if we could have a good chat to sort everything out.
It was about 8pm that night and Chris was about to go home. But he stayed to chat to us. We were in the church office, just the 4 of us - Nick, Pete, Chris and i. The conversation started of frankly, there wasn't any raised voices or anything of that sort.. but it was getting really heated up "inside". As in, there were lots of small connotations under various words used and many subtle meanings in between the lines. I was surprised when i finally realised how serious the situation was. See, my contention was that we should ASSIST and HELP the younger youths in battle addiction to dota while Chris wanted US (the older youths) to settle our OWN addiction problems and set a good example for the younger ones before we think about assisting them.
Well, i didn't know that Nick or Pete was addicted to dota then... but i really wasn't. I think Chris had other ideas though. So i stopped playing dota for a week. Well, i reckon that has tarnished my relationship with Chris cuz we haven't been talking much after that incident.. and even if we do talk.. it's either about really trivial matters or about the Fungus album. Yea, i was pretty hurt by that. But i'm glad that dota has no hold on me now.
I don't know why, probably because i overworked myself yesterday, but i was really short-tempered yesterday. I started judging all sorts of pple for no apparent reason. Sigh.. i'm really foolish. Then i almost killed myself when Jerusha told me that "weird" was spelt "weird" when i had been spelling it "wierd" ALL MY LIFE... and NO ONE had ever told me that i had ALWAYS been spelling it wrong!!!! haha! I've written sooo many essays and poems, and i can't even spell a simple word like "weird" -.-""" I was really cut with myself yesterday, even for such a trivial matter like this...
Another thing i grew sensitive to was how everyone was labelling me a bloody nerd. I've taken it well for AGES, but there comes a time when a person just snaps. Well, for me, it was yesterday. i know people say it jokingly and they wanna get on my nerves.. but something repeated over time will become something that's REAL. That's the way propaganda works.. Do you really think i LOVE to do homework? Bloody NO! Do you really think i enjoy sitting in my room working away for hours and hours? NO! I'd much rather be out there playing soccer with my friends, sleeping for longer hours, working out in the gym, going for a swim at the beach.. But DON'T you bloody see? YOU CAN'T bloody do that in this society unless you wanna be a beggar on the streets or a bricklayer for the rest of your life!
I'm already going through enough pressure with the imminent VCE exams coming, and i just want to do what i HAVE TO DO with some support at least.. without people poking fun at me calling me a nerd and all. Think about it! Everyone has to go through this phase in life! It pisses me off even more... because SUPPORT is what i need.. not bloody MOCKING. It reminds me of the story of Noah.. other pple were mocking him as he was building the ark.. but when the rain came they begged and craved to be on that ark, but no.. the measure that you sow, will be the measure that you reap.