Time

I've finally managed to fix the pictures up =)
Look at the sunset. That's true Beauty!






The MHS dudes getting all ready for Futsal!

This was the signage at Buchan Caves. lol! No kidding! Men = Laundry

Tis so precious,

An irrevokeable gift from God,

Most squander and put to waste,

Yet tis so widely sought.

It brings growth and joy,

As though love and peace had finally met.

But folly does it foolish act,

Leaving me in silent silent regret.

It pains my heart,

To see time fly by,

Not know how to use it,

And then let loose a regretful sigh.

isaac

29/9/06

*Thank you God for bring me to my senses.

I guess that somewhat summaries the reasons i've decided to quit DOTA. As i was playing dota two nights ago, i felt extremely bored. Then i felt God impressing on me that it was SUCH a waste of time. I realised that i had been neglecting some friends and family just because of dota. Then it occured to me that dota could actually be a weapon used by satan to rob us of what's most valuable - Time.

I mean, i would be much better off spending those two hours every night more productively; like having a chat with my parents, my sister, or with other friends. Or i could just spend the time worshipping God and composing more songs and poems for him. I've realised that i haven't written a proper poem for God in more than a month! What a waste of a gift God has given me!

I've just uninstalled Warcraft3 from my comp, and i feel liberated now =) This stupid game has wrecked quite a bit of havoc for me. Especially my relationship with Chris. I remember some time ago, i think it was 6 or 7 months back, when everyone started playing dota and when lotsa younger youths were getting addicted to it and were playing into the wee hours of the night. Naturally, their parents grew angry and pushed the blame on Chris and Qynn. I wasn't aware of that until i realised that there was this "cold war" going on between Chris and some of the older dudes, like Nick, Pete and them. So i asked Chris if we could have a good chat to sort everything out.

It was about 8pm that night and Chris was about to go home. But he stayed to chat to us. We were in the church office, just the 4 of us - Nick, Pete, Chris and i. The conversation started of frankly, there wasn't any raised voices or anything of that sort.. but it was getting really heated up "inside". As in, there were lots of small connotations under various words used and many subtle meanings in between the lines. I was surprised when i finally realised how serious the situation was. See, my contention was that we should ASSIST and HELP the younger youths in battle addiction to dota while Chris wanted US (the older youths) to settle our OWN addiction problems and set a good example for the younger ones before we think about assisting them.

Well, i didn't know that Nick or Pete was addicted to dota then... but i really wasn't. I think Chris had other ideas though. So i stopped playing dota for a week. Well, i reckon that has tarnished my relationship with Chris cuz we haven't been talking much after that incident.. and even if we do talk.. it's either about really trivial matters or about the Fungus album. Yea, i was pretty hurt by that. But i'm glad that dota has no hold on me now.

I don't know why, probably because i overworked myself yesterday, but i was really short-tempered yesterday. I started judging all sorts of pple for no apparent reason. Sigh.. i'm really foolish. Then i almost killed myself when Jerusha told me that "weird" was spelt "weird" when i had been spelling it "wierd" ALL MY LIFE... and NO ONE had ever told me that i had ALWAYS been spelling it wrong!!!! haha! I've written sooo many essays and poems, and i can't even spell a simple word like "weird" -.-""" I was really cut with myself yesterday, even for such a trivial matter like this...

Another thing i grew sensitive to was how everyone was labelling me a bloody nerd. I've taken it well for AGES, but there comes a time when a person just snaps. Well, for me, it was yesterday. i know people say it jokingly and they wanna get on my nerves.. but something repeated over time will become something that's REAL. That's the way propaganda works.. Do you really think i LOVE to do homework? Bloody NO! Do you really think i enjoy sitting in my room working away for hours and hours? NO! I'd much rather be out there playing soccer with my friends, sleeping for longer hours, working out in the gym, going for a swim at the beach.. But DON'T you bloody see? YOU CAN'T bloody do that in this society unless you wanna be a beggar on the streets or a bricklayer for the rest of your life!

I'm already going through enough pressure with the imminent VCE exams coming, and i just want to do what i HAVE TO DO with some support at least.. without people poking fun at me calling me a nerd and all. Think about it! Everyone has to go through this phase in life! It pisses me off even more... because SUPPORT is what i need.. not bloody MOCKING. It reminds me of the story of Noah.. other pple were mocking him as he was building the ark.. but when the rain came they begged and craved to be on that ark, but no.. the measure that you sow, will be the measure that you reap.

Beauty

I've committed to spending the entire morning to finish up my Chinese Genereal Convo before heading off for Futsal, but i just wanted to make a short note about Beauty.

I was reading the bible yesterday and i came across a passage which read:

" Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master." - 1 Peter 3 3-6

That got me thinking about the way i looked at girls. I guess i've always wanted to look at what's on the inside, but subconciously.. i wouldn't even look at any girl unless i thought she was beautiful on the surface. Well, i guess it would be a dream to have a girl that's beautiful both inside and out.

Then again, i blame people like me for turning girls into what most of them are right now. Most of them are subconciously over obsessed with their outward appearance, when what's beautiful is what's inside.. and that obsessiveness acts like a layer which covers and traps her inner beauty and corrodes it overtime. Why? Because of dumbarse like me who neglect those that aren't as "pretty", or should i say "superficial", and give extra attention to those who are.

I wasn't going to make this post, but i was chatting to Angie and Steph yesterday and both of them wanted me to call them "beautiful". I was irritated and a little angry at the same time.. before i decided to change my outlook on beauty:

I see beauty as something that's not visible on one's face, rather.. it's something that never dies out even when wrinkles come into place.. even when you're not as slim or as shapely as before. Beauty is gained, and never lost.

A man can fall for a girl's lush locks, but he'll soon lose interest when they turn grey. But a man that falls for a girl's inner beauty will remain a slave to it forever.

Fungus Futsal!

I got my mum's computer fully infected with all sorts of viruses, malware, adware, spyware, worms and dialers yesterday. LOL! I've been spending hours and hours reading up on these stupid bugs and how to get rid of them. Sigh.. Do you know that there's a difference between spyware, malware, backdoors, worms and adware?

Anyway, i'm in the last phase of purging my mum's comp from all these thingos and hopefully i've made it faster in the process. I met up with the Fungus group for Futsal at the Whitehorse Aquatic Centre yesterday for what was one of the MOST TIRING Futsal sessions i've EVER had. lol! I was suffering from random spasms in various parts of both my legs yesterday... the pain was unfathomable and unbearable!

I booked the courts from 1-3pm, but they didn't chase us out till 5pm. LOL! That means that we played for a whole 4 hours! I can't remember who were on the other teams but the pple that came were: Jerusha, Nick, Keith, Keean, Josh, Angie, Yvonne, Jasmine, Franny, Jacilyn, Qynn, Pete, Reubz, Daniel, Adrianne, Aaron, Aaron's friend, Shaun, Darren, Sarah and myself. lol! i know i'm missing ONE person. But i really can't remember.. i'm so sorry whoever you are. *Punches myself* x.-"

Anyway, Nick, Qynn and i formed 3 separate teams. And we were playing with a rotational first-goal-wins rule. My team consisted of Darren, Daniel, Keith, Jasmine, Hamus, Adrianne, Sarah, Aaron and myself. We were by no means that best team, and it showed when we lost our first 4 games or so. lol! But we managed to force 3 consecutive wins! Booyah! Daniel scored all the goals, and then Jasmine scored two FANTASTIC BLOCKBUSTERS! I was suffering from severe fatigue because i had to run back and forth from defence to attack WAY too many times. Anyway, i managed to smash two shots in from halfway. lol!

We finally decided to call it a day at 5pm and we walked down to Box Hill for an early dinner. I had a good chat with Gab on the way down. LOL! Erm... i think i missed Gab out before x.x"
Yea, it was kindda wierd because the rest of the dudes drove down to Box Hill, but the girls were walking with us.

Anyway, we got to David and Camy's restaurant and i ordered a Shanghai Fried Noodles. But my mum called and said that she was already there and that we had to go. So Jerusha asked if we could cancel our order, but the proprietor refused -.-" Then she started to offer all kinds of peculiar and absolutely unpractical solutions but I was so tired then that i had NO CLUE what she was on about... and the atmosphere was rather noisy. lol! I was about to crack it at the lady... but Jacilyn's mum was nice and she said that they'll finish our portion.

I think it was my first time seeing Jacilyn's mum. Shaun's and Nick's mums were there too. It was really nice seeing them again. And they spoke to me as though they'd known me for ages. LOL! That's cool! =)

Oh, i promised Steph and them that i would take them on in a game of Daytona. I've got no clue how Daytona came up in the convo, but i promised i would race them on the condition that a girl scores in any of the Futsal games -.-" Well, Jasmine was the only gal that scored, and she scored 2 goals for that matter. Just wanna say that i'm dead sorry that i couldn't keep my word yesterday gals, ran outta time.

Yes, i've noticed a trend in the last two times that Fungus played Futsal. Angie and Vanessa scored two spectacular goals at Albert Park the last time, and both of them were on my team! And Jasmine scored two breath-taking ones yesterday, and she was in my team too! None of the other gals scored.

Angie, that's the reason why you didn't score yesterday :P

Photos from Lake's Entrance

I was reaching for the camera there.

That's the entrance to the sCaRy Caves!! Solemn faces.
Imagine walking through that!

She's a sleepy head.

That's a snapshot from the car.



Here are some photos.. i'm in the midst of uploading the rest. But i've gtg for Futsal now! *To be continued and captioned!!!*

Good Times...

Tim's birthday was a bash. I didn't have the time to blog about it, but i had fun with the scavanger hunt. We had to collect ridiculous things like a Wanton, Lobster, an egg, a red rock! haha! Anyway, Shaun, Reuben, Grace, Steph, Jasmine, Reygiel and myself were the "Sea Monkeys!" Shaun and i dashed off immediately to catch Huey in order to get bonus points. lol! It was really funny when he tried to hide in the bushes after we cornered him! haha!

We took a stroll up to my house to get most of the stuff while Pete's and Sonja's sped off in cars -.-""" Anyway, we managed to get to my house first, surprisingly. And i locked the rest outta of the house. loL! But they managed to get over the back gate and in through the back door -.-""" We were all in my room and Nick and his team suddenly barged in, grabbed my Melbourne High blazer and left -.-"" I was pretty cut then.

Our team managed to come in first place despite all the odds, but Tim relegated us to the last spot because of my misconduct -.-" See, i told all the boys to stack on Tim and i asked Jasmine to take a nice photo so that he could have a good memory of his birthday. But someone asked me what he should do with the egg that we collected in the scavanger hunt, so i suggested egging Tim with it when everyone's stacked on him. Well, it didn't turn out as planned.

I called Tim over to a grass patch and got all the guys ready for the stack on. Then Pete and i dragged him to the ground and were the first ones to stack on him. Then Shaun came along and all of a sudden there was this awkward silence. I looked around rather confused before i realised that Shaun had egged Tim, and Tim didn't receive it well by the look on his face.

Since Shaun and i were the main culprits, and we were both in the same team, Tim decided to punish us by making our team come last.

Shaun and i apologised to him several times but i'm sure he's still angry.

All i wanted to do was to give him a memorable birthday picture with us and this is how it turns out -.-"

That basically ruined the rest of the night for me. Most of the Fungus pple left for an important leaders meeting at 7.30pm and the people LEFT BEHIND were Reubz, Jerusha, Ange, Yvon, Jas, Steph, Vanessa and Jacilyn. Everyone was playing Singstar on the PS2, and all the gals really wanted me to sing. I tried, but i couldn't keep up with the rapping and the hardcore rockers. haha! I'll sing a love song or a Chinese song, but not bloody Black Eyed Peas!

We took Aud out for Supper at Maccas because it was her birthday too. It wasn't anything much, just Nick, Pete, Shaun, Jerusha, Sonja, Franny, Aud, Josh and myself. Josh stayed over that night to play DOTA on my cable internet. lol!

I just came back from an AWESOME trip to Lakes Entrance. We set off at 6am on Saturday on a 4hour drive up. There were 3 families up there, listing: Uncle James and Joseph, Aunty Annie and Sarah, Charmain, Shauna, Daniel, Tim, Jonathan, Jeremy, Jerusha, my parents and i =) Well, we had lunch at the local RSL there -.-" The food was decent, but i just don't like being surrounded by old folks.

Then we took another 1hour drive down to the Buchan caves. These caves were special because they have those limestone spikey thingos hanging from the top and bottom. lol! I really should take note of their scientific names. Anyway, it was pretty exciting because the pathways in the tunnel were congested, dark and damp. The spikey-looking thingos were fascinating too!

It was getting dark when we got back to Lake's Entrance, so Tim, Charmaine, Shauna, Jerusha and i decided to catch the sunset along the 90 Mile Beach. AWw!! The view was SPECTACULAR! UNBELIEVEABLE! Man, the beauty of God's wonderful creations captured within my eyes. I took my slippers off and felt the soft cool sand running through my toes and brushing gently against my sole. The radiant rays of the sun just behind a translucent cloud making it look like a gold nugget and giving the sky a tinge of orange which contrasted perfected with the dark blue sky. The sound of the waves by the beach capped it off in a semi-serene atmosphere. That's beauty.


That's Charmaine and Tim in the Buchan caves!


We had a barbe that night and we turned in early. We woke up at 6am today and got ready for a fishing trip on Lake Tyers at 7am. The mums stayed at home. I managed to catch 3 fish, Jerusha caught 2 Breams and a flathead, Charmaine was really tired and she kept leaning on my back trying to take a nap, but i think her first fish got her all hyper again. She managed to catch 3! Tim caught 3 too..and my dad caught 3. haha! I love that number! I can't remember how many the rest got, but no one caught nothing, and we ended up with 20+ fish! Booyah!

It's times like this that i'll never forget. Oh Charmaine, you still have my little band thingo!

11-1 Futsal Mania!

I can't believe it's already Thursday! lol! I'm falling behind in terms of work. Anyway, it's Tim's Birthday today! So Happy Birthday Timmy! Thanks for being such a great friend! His bday party starts at 2pm later and he's got a hunt all prepared. It'll definitely be fun!

I woke up at 10am yesterday and spent the whole morning moving HONEYCOMB ROCKS!!! -.-""" My dad has been building up the front and back garden with rocks, plants and the like. Well, there's an old british couple that were giving away about 50 of these IMMENSELY HEAVY honeycomb rocks that my dad desperately needed. They're worth about 200 bucks! lol!

So Jerusha, my mum and i set out at 11am and made 4 trips for these crazily heavy rocks... that took us till 1pm. Jerusha and i got our fingers squished by the rocks -.-" It doesn't matter how tanky you are... these rocks will make your muscles ache. Have a look! There were about 50 of these nasty things! And there were slugs and little bugs living in the tiny crooks in the rocks -.-"






Yep, see how tired we were?

I gobbled down my lunch and left the house at 1.40 for my Futsal game. Oh, i saw Shaun at the Box Hill Aquatic Centre! haha! What were the odds! I thought he was really sick yesterday.

Anyway, Tommy said that his friends from Chinese school were bagging Melbourne High too much and he wanted to teach them a lesson. The Melbourne High team consisted of Jin, Phan, lil Joe, Tommy, Jimmy and myself =) haha! We dominated the 2 whole hours as the game ended with a 11-1 scoreline. Booyah! And i scored an own goal =) lol!

Gab, Jerusha, Grace and i went down to Chadstone on Tuesday to get some presents. And i was surprised at how long our lunch went! We actually spent more than 2 hours talking.. didn't expect Grace to be half as mature as that. Anyway, i haven't been posting poems for ages, so here's one i composed on the way up to Mt. Howqua for the Funugs camp.

Hidden Wonders

As i sit by the window,
Many images flash by.
Lowly dull green pastures,
Sieged by mighty hills of high.

Cows graze by, fully ignorant,
Till one looks up to the sky.
As its darkness and gloom,
Fills his weary eye.

More hills i see,
Dark clouds, dry grass, and a lifeless tree.
Then this vast barren land,
Where a river used to be.

Then a strong wind blows,
As a silent prayer leaves my lips.
Dark clouds are split apart,
Marking a bright new start.

The veil is lifted from my eyes,
A rich blue sky and lush green leaves.
Great hills bow in awe,
At the wonders life conceives.

God & isaac
22/6/06

Liverpool... Sigh

Time really flies when you're enjoying yourself.

I recorded the song "When You Say Nothing At All" by Ronan Keating last week and i increased the speed by 10 times. Try to make out the words!

It's amazing how you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark.

Try as I may
I could never explain
What I hear when
You don't say a thing

Chorus:
The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all

All day long
I can hear people
Talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd

Try as they may
They can never define
What's been said
Between your
Heart and mine

The weekend just flashed past my eyes in an instance and so did the first day of the holidays. Harish, Jin and i went to Funky Curry for lunch in the city on Saturday!!! LOL! We have been talking about trying it out someday, and i guess that was the day.. and we're NEVER gonna walk into that restaurant again.

Jin ordered Chicken Biriyani (Mild) while Harish and i had the Lamb Biriyani (Medium). The waitress actually gave us the choice of Mild, Medium and Spicy... and she was surprised when i said Medium. Well, that was a decision i regretted dearly. The dish was just a reddish brown coloured rice with small pieces of mutton in it and a disgusting serving of whittish white yoghurt. Yuck! I gobbled everything down.. Harish enjoyed it (cuz he's curry), and Jin started perspiring! LOL! He looked as if he had just returned from a Soccer match. He didn't even finish his food. haha!

We had a semi-decent game of soccer yesterday.. Jerusha and i went to Danica's house for a BBQ dinner. I was too busy pouring drinks for everyone else that there was hardly any food left by the time i started eating =( Anyway, we had a good chat with Danica. She's one of my first friends here in Melbourne, and honestly, i didn't really like her in the past. But i feel so comfortable when i'm talking to her now...

We left the house at 9.30pm and raced to Qynn's house to catch the Liverpool vs Chelsea match, which proved to be an ironic idiotic football-ridiculing circus. I'm totally disgusted with Liverpool's performance =( And i got bagged by EVERYONE -.-"" It was much worse cuz Qynn had to take an impt phone call when Liverpool conceeded the winning goal -.-"""" Oh, congratulations to Arsenal for OWNING Man Utd! Booyah!

The people who slept over were Hamus, Keith, Nick, Shaun, Gab, Aviel, Tony, Keean, Daniel, Jerusha, Audrey, Sonja, Janice, Pete and LASHES! Oh we called a massive stacks-on on Aviel, Gabriel and Nick. LOL! Aviel was being a lazy bum, so Pete and i jumped on him. haha! HE was absolutely crushed by 130kgs! Booyah! Then it was Gabriel's turn, we called for a bigger stacks-on. This time we had Pete, myself, Keith, Shaun, Aviel and Daniel. loL! About 300kgs?

Then the BIG one.. Nick was sleeping ALL ALONE upstairs. Aviel and i snuck up at about 10am and saw that he was still sleeping. He suggested shaving cream but there wasn't any to waste. SO, we decided on a MASSIVE STACKS-ON!!!! I wasn't too keen about it cuz Nick would have burst out in a revolting rage killing anyone in his fiery path. But everyone called for Pete and I to go first, to hold him down first, and obviously to TAKE ALL THE DAMAGE -.-"""

It was funny how all 16 of us snuck up the stairs on tiptoes. Then Pete and i opened the door with our hearts racing. Then i saw Nick open his eyes a little and stared inquisitively at us like a little baby. loL! Then BANG! EVERYONE JUMPED ON HIM. LOL! The weight was IMMENSE. I was at the bottom of the pack and i could feel my eyeballs popped out! lol! It was bloody painful! Anyway, Nick found it pretty funny and he didn't crack it =) Phew!

Then Alvin, Jerusha, Lashes, Daniel and i went into Qynn's room test out his guitar before leaving for lunch at Knox City. I slept for 2 hours when i got home. Hmm.. We've gotta get some birthday gifts tmr but i'm currently sitting on an empty wallet. lol! Cheers!

Always a Liverpool fan no matter what the odds say!

Worried Sick

We constantly hear the phrase "Worried Sick".. but i just had a real taste of the much overused phrase in reality. Harish fell sick yesterday, which was one day after the Business Management Trial Exam. He had been studying so hard over the weekend that his body couldn't take it anymore.. he even threw up the moment he got outta bed.

Well, Harish was perfectly fine at school today. But it was my turn to hit the bed. I was feeling really tired in the morning, and i could feel a slight inflammation in my nasal passage, but it attributed it all to the tasty durian that i had last night and dismissed the threat without much concern.

I still left terribly lethargic when i got to school, so i decided to play soccer just to give my brain a good workout.. but that proved to be a foolish decision. The game was good, i could feel the sudden change in my body as i started to get weaker and weaker as time passed. I was stoned by the second period, my mind was plagued with migrains and my legs felt like jelly. I was struggling to keep my eyes open!

I knew i was falling sick, but i didn't wanna admit it. I even had to sit for a Chemistry Prac write-up -.-" Anyway, i resisted the temptation to play soccer after school and i headed straight home with Chen. We had a good chat on the train ride home, but i was feeling extremely terrible..

My legs have never felt so weak in my entire life! I don't think i could kick a ball. I was struggling to keep my balance. I took a bus home, got outta my uniform, gulped down a glass of water and jumped straight to bed. I slept from 2.30 to 7pm -.-" But i woke up at ever 1 hour interval.

I'm feeling a little better now, but my eyes are burning.. and i've gotta memorise my Chinese Oral for Saturday -.-" Sigh, i hope the migrains don't come back.. it's the last day of school tomorrow and i really wanna go out with my friends after that.. i don't wanna be chained up at home just because of a sickness..

haha! i don't even know what made me fall sick, but my mum told me that that's usually the case for students who study too hard. The body tries its best not to fall sick before the exam, and it just dies out straight after the exam. That's what happened to Harish, and i presume that what's happening to me now.

Sigh... Worried Sick? It's true.. worrying too much does get you sick. Terribly Sick.

Hols Are Approaching..

I would usually be thrilled at the thought of the soon-approaching holidays, but not this time. I've planned to do work during the past few holiday periods, but i tend to go out so much that end up not getting anything done. So i'm not gonna plan to go out too much this time... here's my plan.

God's given me 14 full free days beginning the coming monday.

I'll spend the one day in the first week doing something with my Fungus friends. I'll probably book the futsal courts at Box Hill and organise a mini-comp. The rest of the first week will be dedicated to catching up on Methods, Specialist Maths, BM and Chinese Revision.

I'll spend one day in the second week going out with some of my school friends.. we'll probably catch a movie or have a good soccer game if there are enough players. lol! Then i'll spend that Saturday with some other friends.. i don't know.. i think Charmain, Valerie, Tim, his bros and Vernicia wanna go rock-climbing or ice-skating.. or something! So i'll probably do that.

Yea, those 14 days will fly past in no time.. then i'll get all stressed out with the VCE exams... esp the Chinese Oral on my birthday -.-"""" I hate to have my birthday on a school day! I wonder if i'll get a surprise when i get home. lol! Wishful thinking.

BM Trial Exam

The exam wasn't as hard as i expected it to be. I'm actually pretty happy with how i fared, but i had a few doubts as i discussed a few questions with Harish and Archit on the train ride home.

The exam went for 2hr and 15 min from 1.50pm till 4.05pm -.-" I finished the exam at 3.30pm and i tried to make full use of my time by checking an rechecking my answers, but there wasn't much that could be changed anyway.

Oh, i was so tired and brain dead by the time i got to the last question that i had this sudden mental block that hindered my from spelling correctly -.-" It was the WORST feeling ever. I experienced a huge difficulty in writing the word "discussion". It took me 5 attempts and 5 cancellations before i got it right! LOL!

1st Attempt: Descussions
2nd Attempt: Descusion
3rd Attempt: Decusions
4th Attempt: Disscusions
5th Attempt: Disccusion
6th Attempt: Discusion
7th Attempt: Discussion!

LOL! I feel more relaxed now that i've got that over and done with. But realistically, that was just the beginning. Oh, Roger Federer won the US Open for the 3rd consecutive time! What a Tennis Legend! If only Liverpool could be just as successful as he is =)

Ohoh! Liverpool are playing Chelsea this Sunday night and i'm gonna try to organise something with Qynnie. I'm looking at something like.. Fungus in the arvo, Soccer after Fungus, Dinner after Soccer and then we'll go to Alvin's house or something (if he agrees) and we'll watch Liverpool OWN Chelsea into the wee hours of the night! Booyah! =)

Perseverance

I decided to spend the day at studying for my BM trial exam tomorrow instead of wasting my time in school. I'm amazed at how many pple read my blog but fail to tag. MSN message prompts from Jasmine and Jacilyn popped up almost immediately after i posted my previous post. haha!

I just wanna make a short note before i start studying.

The following 2 months are going to be difficult for me because of the VCE exams in November. I'm already devastated that i'll have to sacrifice my September holidays and all my Saturdays. My parents will probably drive out to the Great Ocean Road or Merimbula for fishing, but i've decided to skip it.

The pressure from my exams have also crept into my social life and has affected me in a subtle, but severe, way. I feel stressed out and tired when i talk to my friends, and most of the times i don't feel like talking at all. My friends then start to think that i need some time off just to let me cool down. Because of all the stress clogged up inside of me, i notice that i've been swearing quite a bit recently. I've been praying for quite a few things over a pretty long period of time, but i'm starting to get frustrated because God doesn't seem to be answering like he usually does! There's always a LACK OF TIME. I wanna learn to play a few more songs of the guitar, i wanna spend some time composing more songs and poems for God, i wanna spend some time on a trip with my parents, i wanna talk to Qynn about some stuff, i wanna go for daily 3km jogs, i wanna spend some time in the garden staring up at the blue sky and at the beautiful spring colours! But there's either no time, or i just feel too tired to do anything after a long day at school.

The only time where i can vent this accumulated frustration is on a soccer pitch where i can just run, smile and kick it all out! Then again, i always feel the need to keep calm and composed when what i really want is to run up to a high mountain, shout my guts out, not think about studies at all, and just enjoy and appreciate what God has so graciously created.



I was taken by surprise as i embarked on the book of James this morning. Listen to this!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials and many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." - James 1:2-6

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that GOd has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12

What words of wisdom!

Test my faith, O God.
Bring me through what is needed
That i may come forth as Gold.
Grant me wisdom
That i may see what you've planned
That i may know how to live
Forgive me for the foul words
And for the bad tempers
For not relying on you
Thank you for love,
Thank you for the cross.

When You Say Nothing

I was planning to study a whole lot today, but some family friends came over after Fungus today to celebrate my dad's birthday over tea. So i had a few slices of the rich chocolate cake and the delicious oven-baked scones with strawberry jam and whipped cream. booyah!

Fungus was relatively quiet today because there was some leadership meeting on. Anyway, Qynn did a really good job running it. There were four new leaders introduced: Serene, Joanne, Chara and Vernis. As tradition states, all new leaders have to undergo some form of torment.

This time, they had to pick two people that they trusted most and these two people would have to put on ridiculous amounts of make-up on them to make them look "Hot". haha! Joanne picked Jerusha and i!!! BOoyah! I just grabbed some random make-up products and i had NO CLUE what each one was meant for! lol! I wonder how long gals take to put make-up on!

Anyway, i wrote the words "Hot Product" with some lip colouring (serves the same purpose as a lipstick but Joanne said it wasn't o.O" ) across Joanne's face while she stared at me with a worried look. haha! Then i grabbed this wierd pinkish brush thingo, but i didn't know how it worked until Chara showed me. haha! It turned out to be blush (i think), so i rubbed it all over Joanne's face x.O" Oh, I think Vernis lost the "beauty competition", so Shaun and Franny had to be punished. lol! They made Shaun look like a clown. Then Joanne took her revenge on me by rubbing blush on my face. haha! First time i've got blush on my face.

I found it kindda wierd today because very few of the older youths were there, and i find it pretty hard to relate to the younger ones. They're not that much younger than i (about 2 or 3 years) but i feel a sense of apprehension whenever i talk to them, and i've got no idea why. It's easy to strike up a conversation with people like Darren, Keith, Steph or Daniel. But whenever i try to start a conversation with people like Franny, Jacilyn, Jasmine, Yvonne, Angie or Sarah, i get one sentence answers that tend to lead the conversation into an awkward silence.

After Fungus today, we were having a kick at the back of the Sanctuary. Everyone was joining in save for 5 or 6 of the gals. I thought that they would feel left out or something and i wanted to go get them to join in.. but it's just hard to even find an even ground to spark a convo off. lol

I spent half an hour recording the song "When You Say Nothing At All" on the guitar, and i was going to upload the extremely fast and cute version onto my blog but it doesn't work!!!! -.-""

I love that song.. it's my favourite love song. I'll perfect it on a classical guitar and i'll play it for my wife on our wedding night =) That's my dream.

Bloody Reds

I'm feeling dead pissed right now.

Liverpool 0 - Everton 3

What's the world coming to?!?!?!??!

So much for a local derby.

I'm utterly devastated by Liverpool's lack of form. Sigh.. i feel like crying, but i haven't cried in such a long time, i think i forgot how to..

Nick, Shaun, Gabriel, Alvin and Stan are all gonna be bagging me tomorrow. My one love, Liverpool, getting utterly raped by flukey hooligans in blue.

I really wish i could be on the pitch. Then again, as if that'll make any difference -.-"

I'm so tired that i'm starting to spout nonsense.

I just wanna get some frustration and anger out before i go to sleep.

Oh yea, it was my dad's birthday today. Jerusha and i went down to Myers to get him 2 collared t-shirts yesterday. I don't know if he'll wear them, cuz they're meant for younger people. But they'll make him look sprucier. haha!

Shucks, i'm gonna get bagging in school as well. I'll wag Monday to study for my BM exam on Tuesday. Hopefully my friends will forget all about tonight's game by Wednesday.

Many would say that Liverpool deserved to win the game, but they were short of luck.

But i'd say that they're bloody disgraceful.

They defended so badly that they might as well just NOT HAVE A DEFENCE.

The keeper played so poorly that he would have been better off throwing the ball into his own goal.

Stevie G. and Alonso looked like they were bloody playing GOLF with their legs! -.-"

Well, we lost the game with 10 men on the pitch. But these 10 men, no matter how hopeless they can be, they know that they'll Never Walk Alone. I'll taste sweet victory with them at the end of the season, and i go through the bitter defeats with humility. We're Liverpool. We're not the best team in the world. But you'll never see us stop trying!

You're Beautiful

This is my 365th post. Pretty awesome huh? =)

Thanks so much for taking that step, and don't be afraid to take it again. I admire your courage, it makes shudder at how much of a coward i am. I was kindda shocked, but not for the reason that you've got in your head... i was surprised that you'd have that kindda courage. I envy you.

Life's like a ladder. You take a step up everyday of your life. It's easy most of the time, but sometimes you find a missing step and you've gotta have the guts to stretch your legs forward and use your arms to pull yourself up, and keep climbing higher. It's that ability to muster enough courage and faith that i truely admire... with each step you take, you get stronger, you learn and experience things that you've never had before. You mature.

But the time's not right. Maybe in the future things will change, who knows? You've been an awesome friend to me, and i'd rather die than to lose someone like you. You bring cheer and innocence.


Many lies are told,
But may it not be from me.
I shudder at the thought of a broken heart,
Being laid in my hands..

I want you to be happy,
I want you to see,
That the search for love is long,
But when you find it...
And may he mean it,
When he says to you,

"You're beautiful... it's true."

Passing Note..

Just thought i'd make a short note before starting work again.

Last Saturday was fantastic. God was at work yet again! The Beatbouncers actually won the hip-hop dance competition at Exo, and were invited to dance on the main stage for Youth Alive! haha! I remember Serene and Ruth telling that this had been their dream several years ago.. and it really happened when they least expected it! The joy in their hearts overflowed in the form of tears. I was genuinely happy for them. Well done! :)

Jerusha and i went to watch the Melbourne Victory VS Sydney FC game instead. We really wanted to watch the Beatbouncers bounce around on stage, but we had to save some cash.. and it was our first and only chance in the year to watch a live soccer match from a Coporate Suite. It proved to be worth it though, 2 goals and a red card in the first 15 minutes kept my on the edge of my seat. The view was SPECTACULAR from the coporate suite. loL! However, it lacked the crowded atmosphere, the smell of sweat, and the loud cheering noises. I loved it up there, but that place is for rich people, i belonged down the bottom where it's dirty. Anyway, the match ended with a thrilling 3-2 scoreline, and i picked up a neat little trick from Alessandro. Booyah!

Jerusha and i then rushed back to Rod Laver Arena to meet up with the rest that went to Youth Alive, but we caught the wrong tram, which took us some distance to the east -.-" We were LOST, but we started jogging in one direction in faith. Fortunately, we saw the MCG in a distance and made our way to Rod Laver from there. haha! I had a good chat with Danica on the train back to Box Hill. It was a pity she couldn't join us for supper. I got home at 1+ am that night.

I just had a discussion with my parents about my future job prospects, as well as the subjects that i'm going to take up next year. Well, i've always dreaded this idea, but i knew it was imminent. I feel like a hypocrite cuz i've been trying to persuade people from making this decision by encouraging them to put more effort into their work and all. But i've made a decision to drop Specialist Maths next year and take up Accounting instead. Yea, it interests me much much more, and i think it'll lessen the immense pressure that i'm experiencing even now.


Lord, thanks for being there in my lowest lows.
For lifting up me and setting me straight.
May you strengthen me that i may boldly face my foes.
It's times like these that prove there's more to life than fate.