Monday, July 17, 2006

From the Inside Out

My soul finds comfort and my heart falls into a state of total worship whenever i sing that song, From the Inside Out. It's the most meaningful song i've ever heard... It's a perfect expression of the emotions and feelings all welled up in my heart of praise. I've always been trying to compose songs and poems to express these feelings, but words are never enough... there has to be something more than the tune, something more than just the words...

"Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never-ending, your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise
From the inside out, Lord, my soul cries out!"

What better words can express such a sincere heart of worship?

I really enjoyed Fungus yesterday. Chris spoke about the 5 steps to sin, which i found really interesting... i know it should apply to everyone, but i didn't feel a real need to respond to the altar call.

The gals learnt how to strut during the dance practice yesterday. haha! It was funny cuz Serene got some of the dudes like Gabriel, Alvin and Mike to demonstrate. LOL! Pete, Shaun and i gave it a try too. Personally, i didn't get too much outta that dance prac... but i really enjoyed it cuz Nick brought a soccer ball along and we spent some time juggling. Alvin showed me a song that he composed on the guitar too.

The Fungus Album. Am i the only one that feels God wants to do something big through the album? I feel as though the waters all in a pot sitting above a stove all ready to be boiled, but i'm just one tiny little flame at work. Stanley sounded really tired and fatigued when i spoke to him about the Album, and he told me that it was IMPOSSIBLE to finish it in time for the rally. Sigh... i guess we shouldn't rush it.. but i'm really inspired because JP, Jerusha and Alvin are all composing songs too! And Audrey told me that she had a good song (with no tune =P ) too! Well, the water's all there... BEGGING to be boiled. I'm just praying that God will light the fire.

I feel like i'm lacking something.. i never used to feel like this. I feel as though i've been robbed of every close friend i had because i neglected them due to my endless studies and other commitments. Sigh... i'm really lost now. I want to have a TRUE and MEANINGFUL friendship with all my friends, not just a casual one without any genuine love at all. The problem is.. it takes TIME, which i don't seem to have enough of, to develop meaningful friendships. On the contrary, it goes the other way (ie. friendships deteriorate) if i don't invest enough time in it.

It's something like this. I have to do work, but i sign on to MSN in hope of having a meaningful chat with someone... but a whole lot of pple start talking to me. In the end, i end up with several casual/meaningless chats with different pple, and a whole stack of unfinished homework.

In class, my friends muck around chatting and all... but i wanna pay attention so that i don't have to waste time revising when i get home. During some free periods, i play soccer for a bit and then i go home to finish some work while pple hang around in the city and all. I used to do that... but things are getting serious this year with 2 VCE Subjects.. Sigh..

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