Slipping...

i find myself slippling helplessly back into this hole that i've tried so hard to get out of and stay away from. Sigh... is everyone subject to this black hole? Many people argue that it can turn out good, but i really don't see how true love can exist at such a young age.

all the love i've ever felt was true. i've never told a gal i loved her without meaning it, but did it turn out to be true love? sigh... i don't know... it just wasn't part of God's plan, i'm sure of that.

if you ask me now if what i'm feeling is really true love, i won't be able to give a full answer. But i would be willing to give my life for her, i don't think of her physical attractions, but i just love her innocence. i know that i shouldn't be doing this cuz i might stand the chance of hurting another gal... it's not too late to turn back, but something's dragging down that hole... that nasty little hole. I only want to go into the hole that God puts me in.

Abounding Worries

Behind this act of smiles,
A load of worries abound.
Though i'm free,
A heavy heart weighs me down.

Your Word beings peace,
Fills my heart with joy.
I take blissful comfort,
Though many troubles surround.

I'm not alone,
You've always been with me.
Lord grant me wisdom,
And help me to see.

I lie in wait,
With faithful expectation.
Because i know my God,
Will take me to a comforting realisation.

God
& isaac
14/12/05

Happy Birthday Stevie!

Happy Birthday to you my good friend, and hero, Stevie Gerrard!!!! =)

He's such a legend, isn't he? Leading Liverpool to the European Cup in 2005, brought the FA Cup back to Anfield in 2006. Sigh... what will Liverpool do without him?

Today was my final day of exams!!! Boo yah! And i finished my last exam, Economics, with a blast!

Harish, Marcus, Banh, Jonno and i went down to Smith Street to check out the soccer boots at the Nike and Addidas factories. However, there were hardly any decent pairs of boots there. It was really disappointing. Despite that, the apparell was excellent and well-priced too! I'm gonna go back there sometime this week.

Yea, i went back to Glen Waverley after my last paper and met up with Harish and Marcus at Intencity. However, Marcus had to go back as it was getting late (5pm). haha! But Harish and i were dying to watch X-Men 3. Yea, so we did.

I reckon that was one of the better shows. i really enjoyed it. Argh... Marcus and Harish bought the gold and white predator indoor boots and they look awesome! haha! it's a pity everyone's got the same model.... it's becoming like a cliche. Hopefully, i'll be able to buy my soccer boots tomorrow if the price is right =)

True Friends

i didn't have school today... but i was busy preparing for the final two papers tomorrow - Maths General and Economics. I'm quite nervous actually, but i can't wait to watch X-Men 3 after, and probably get some new soccer boots =)

I don't know why i typed this... but i just did:

Things are not always what the seem to be...
Cuz when your eyes are tired red,
When all's been done and said...
You'll know who'll stay of the friends you've made.

Soccer Mania Again?!

Finally! The weekend! I've been dying for a break from such immense exam pressure. The Maths General paper was alright, it wasn't as difficult as i expected. It ended at 10.45AM and the guys wanted to go watch X-Men 3. I just tagged along.

Halfway to the station, Turk, Harish, Marcus and Banh managed to persuade Phan and i to play soccer instead -.-" lol! So we walked all the way back to school. Anyway, we'll go watch a movie next Tuesday instead after my LAST exam! Yippee!! =)

We started Soccer at 11am and played for a REALLY long time. haha! Take a guess... not 1, not 2...it's not 3 either. We played for FOUR HOURS! LOL! i can't remember when was the last time i played for that long. We just played some random Penalty Kick games with many variations - left foot, right foot, one-step-shot, cross-and-convert. haha! It was really relaxing =)

I feel so sore and wasted right now, but i've gotta get some Chinese homework done for tmr. I was browsing through my poem book, and i thought i'll share this one with you guys:

My Love

As the days go by,
Experience grows.
Youth become adults
Through the highs and the lows.

Pain and Sorrow,
Hurt the human heart.
Moulds and shapes it,
And takes away the broken parts.

There's no escaping,
Melancholy comes to all.
What matters most,
Is coping with the falls.

Through the fears and tears,
And all the broken cords.
I'll put my all,
My love and hope is in the Lord.

God
& isaac
14/1/05
*comforting words from the Lord

State Finals... Here we come!

I woke up at 4.30am this morning to catch the Champions League Final - Arsenal vs Barcelona. It was a star-studded match that ended 2-1 Barca's way. I reckon the beauty of the game was deal a heavy blow today as the biased referee decided to send Lehmann off, forcing Arsenal to play with 10 men against a formidable Barcelona side -.-"

As i watched the Barcelona players celebrating their triumph, i was reminded of Liverpool's FA Cup victory too. And i realised this:

"The Beauty of Soccer is that the winners cry while the losers don't."

I skipped school, again, for the Zone Athletics comp. The competition was much tighter than last week's district comp. However, sheer perserverance from Chamith, Matthias and Tim got us a remarkable 47.04 secs to secure us a place in the State final! We were all overjoyed as we received our first-placed medals =)

haha! It's my first zone medal, and i'm delighted. But i wanna thank God for helping us get this far cuz i know that without Him, things would be a whole lot different =)

Beautiful Third

Soccer's a beautiful game, especially when you're enjoying yourself.

The Yarra team marched out strongly in the first game, as we dominated the strong Forrest side. I was surprised at how well we controlled the game. The dudes at the front created plenty of chances that were begging to be put away; as the goal was at our mercy. I actually had the perfect opportunity to connect an overhead kick, but i miskicked it as it was on my weaker left foot -.-" It woud have been a splendid goal if it has connected. Anyway, we restricted their attack to zero shots on target. haha! Danno, Johnny and i kept a firm backline that managed to block every single shot and clear all the long balls. Thank God for that =)

We were disappointed that the game ended 0-0, a big let off for Forrest. However, we kept our heads up for the penalty-shootout. Adrenaline rushed through every vein in my body as Danno and Shahan converted our first two penalties, while Laios and some other dude scuffed their chances. We were up 2-0, but it soon became 2-3 as Denholm and Turk converted their chances -.-" It was our last penalty kick and it NEEDED to be buried away, the pressure was on.

I wasn't picked to take any of kicks, Johnny was called up for that final kick. However, Danno told me to go for it. That was followed by the entire Yarra team chanting for me to take the kick. When I was gonna walk up, i saw Johnny walking over as though he was gonna talk to Danno and i yet nothing came outta his mouth. He looked bitter, miserable with a tinge of anger. I heaved a sigh as i patted his back and said, " Johnny, you can take it."

He stepped up and blazed it over the bar. That was it...

Everyone knew who the better team was. Sadly, that's the beauty of Soccer.

We had to play Como in the loser final, while Forrest played Waterloo in the Winner's final. Well, Forrest won that match comfortably with a 5-0 victory. haha! Our Yarra team held on to a comfortable 1-0 victory over Como to clinch 3rd place.

I got badly injured in that game. I didn't do a proper warm-up and all, so i was cramping up in both legs. But i kept in the game. What happened was, the ball was bouncing really awkwarded just inside our penalty box. Harish (the Como striker & my good friend!!!) was shocked was how the ball fell nicely for him and he winded up to take a full-blooded strike at goal. However, i ran back and cleared the ball a split second before his made contact -.-" Yea... made contact with my ankle -.-"""" The massive impact took my legs off the ground as i fell on my back. Yea, how dirty can Man Utd supporters get? haha! i was subbed off.
Again, there was not a single shot on target against our defence =)

The final rankings:

1. Forrest
2. Waterloo
3. Yarra
4. Como

haha! Ironic. That's the beautiful game =)

Senior House Soccer

It's Senior House Soccer tomorrow, and i'm feeling all nervous right now. All these Yarra guys have got great expectations of me.. pressure for me to perform well. Thinking about it, i fell in love with Soccer the very first time i played it. I remember really clearly that Daryl and Troy forced me to join them down at Lobby 4 at Avon Park. Oh.. those were the days where i just played... because i love the game. It was what boosted my energy, gave me inspiration and determination. I remember playing for 3 to 4 hours straight without losing interest, i played till my feet were sore and bruised... because i loved the game. No pressure.. just love.

If only i could just go out there and enjoy the game tomorrow without everybody watching my feet whenever i've got the ball. haha! I know i'm capable of producing magic, but magic only comes when there's true desire, when there's joy and fun in the game.

We're up against Forrest first up - Laios, Turk, Denholm, Jase... the superstar list goes on. Boy, i can't wait for it. It's the perfect opportunity for me to get rid of the tremendous amount of stress.

Enjoy the game.

Happy Mum's Day!

I just wanna say how much i love my mum. I bought her this model thing with two bears, a mother bear and her son. The little bear's got a bouqet of flowers behind his back, and the mum's wearing an apron; looking as though she's weary, but happy to see him. Yea, i composed a poem for my mum and slit it in with the flowers. It read:

For a loving mum,

Most times you're in the kitchen,
Cooking up something good.
But all that fills my mind at the table,
Is gobbling down the scrumptuous food.

Many times i complain about missing clothes,
Foolishly forgetting where they've been.
But your hands are in dirty laundry,
In that tiny room that can't be seen.

Often i grumble in the early morning,
"Oh, come one! Gimme a break!"
But you're up even earlier,
Just to prepare my soft-boiled egg.

But this time i hired,
Two little bears just to say,
"Thank you mum,
For making my every single day!"

isaac
*For a mum that God has so graciously blessed me with.

Sometimes we neglect the love that our mums show us. But i take comfort in the fact that someone loves me, just for who i am.


I don't believe i jsut got sucked in into taking a Love quiz. haha! It says that the "perfect" gal for me is the one next door:
Your type is the girl next door
Cute, fun, and sweet, your ideal girl is just a stone's throw away - she's the girl next door. She's Sandra Bullock, Billie Piper, and Meg Ryan all rolled up into one. Naturally pretty rather than glamorous, she's unpretentious and generous. She loves animals and children, and is great with both. You're attracted to her strong values and traditional ways. Although she demands great respect, she's not particularly high-maintenance. Her ideal date is more likely to be dinner and a film than heading out for a night on the town. She's careful yet spontaneous - a bit of the guy's girl, a bit of a cover girl (the nice kind), and just a hint of the hippie chick. But she's got an appeal that's all her own, which is why you can't stay away.

haha! i find that really funny. But it's true... i prefer gals that are unpretentious.

I'm currently running low on adrenaline after that thrilling match last night. I slept at 3am watching the FA Cup final - Liverpool vs West Ham. Aww... i was kept on the edge of my seat throughout the game! It was just unbelieveably suspenseful and thrilling. haha! I can feel it in my heart right now... 2 goals from Steven Gerrard and one from Cisse ensured that Livepool finished the first 90 mins 3-3, after Carragher scored a pathetic own goal accompanied by two more fluky goals by Konchesy and Ashton -.-"

I'm really inspired by the Livepool Captain Steven Gerrard. Liverpool were 3-2 down, and all their players looked dejected and tired with 4 minutes to go. My sister was grinning from cheek to cheek and commented that there was no hope left. But i kept praying, and i believed that there would be a miracle, just like the one in Istanbul. And just then, Gerrard rapples home a sensational 30-yarder from no where. Liverpool then went on to win on Penalty kicks.

Yea, people say it's a fluke. But we've done it twice in two years, and we've shown what it takes to be true champions. It's not all about skills, it's about determination, perserverance and a will to believe that You'll Never Walk Alone.

Wicker Park

I just watched the show Wicker Park last night, and i can't help but to applaud it's thrilling and captivating storyline. Many things have happened in the last month, and i feel that i've been neglecting my blog.

I careless broke two precious mugs given to me by two Kayleigh, Liru and MeiQing a long time ago back in Singapore. They were my favourite mugs. My heart shattered into pieces as i saw them drop on the kitchen floor and breaking up into numerous pieces. Sigh.. I really love mugs, especially the custom made ones... I'm reminded of the person who gave it to me whenever i use it, and i feel that it's a really meaningful gift.

I represented my school in the Northen District V.S.S.S.A Athletics competition on Thursday for the 4 x 100m relay. Chamith start, Matt went second, Tim was the third runner, and i was given the honours of the last runner. Yea, we won it easily... by 6 seconds or so. Thank God for that! We're in the zones next thursday, but i don't know how well we'll do. Only the first team gets to make it through to the State level. God willing it'll be us.

The exams are coming up in two weeks, and i'm already feeling the tremendous pressure on my back. Sigh... i wish i could just sleep forever, or just play on Soccer on the field without worrying about anything, or just run my guts out in a race without having to think about my Business Management SAC. It's really mind-provoking how these pressures can rob life of it's meaning.

Love. I had a think about it while i was in the shower, and God put into my mind this question: "How would you react if the person you loved died?" I don't know how my friends would react if i died, and i'm not too sure how myself how i'd react if one of my friends died. I don't know... do i love them? or are they just an easily dispensible part of my life? I wanna cherish them, not to take them lightly.

Then again, it made me realise what LOVE is. I mean, i kindda like this girl right now without even knowing her much. And i would be sad if she died. But would my sadness be because i miss her? or would it be because the intimate times that we could have had just vanished into thin air?

Efficiency...

It's Harish's 17th Birthday tomorrow, but i playing Soccer for the B team at Fawkner Park. Sigh.. we're playing with the mentality that we're sure to lose, but we'll play for the sake of Soccer.

We got to play Futsal at the Pitts Building after 7 long weeks. I had a great time there; won both of my games against Marcus' and Tommy's teams.

Efficiency...efficiency...efficiency. I can't get that word outta my head. Endless hours of BM homework have drilled "Effectiveness" and "Efficiency" into the back of my weary brain. I'm fully drained out right now. More homework was added to my already heavy load today, and i don't know how i'm gonna get it done without any weekend being sacrificed. Sigh...

My plan right now is to be 100% efficient. Setting out high goals and ambitious objectives for the next two days, working my guts out and we'll see how it all goes.

I'm gonna miss another day of school tomorrow, meaning a lot more work to catch up on. Sigh... when will this ever end?! I'm about to explode. Sometimes i wonder about my priorities. I want to do everything - Soccer, Table tennis, Futsal, Fungus, Study, and Athletics. Everything around me tells me that i can't do everything, and that i need to make a compromise. But i can't bring myself to accept that.

God, i need you.

Running on...

This sickness is really getting a hold on me. It's been with me for the last two weeks, and i've been braving it through the 5km run, the athletics heats and finals and all the soccer matches. Sigh... i pray that it'll go away soon.

I haven't attended any of the meetings or training sessions, but i'm being called into the Senior Soccer Team B. Sigh... Politics again. I had made a resolution to sit out from Soccer for the whole of this year due to all the fancy pancy politics, but Jase managed to convince me.

The VSSSA competition starts this Thursday, but i seriously doubt we'll make it past the district level considering the skills of the players on the B team. The A team won't go much further either.

It rained heavily yesterday, but Mr. Goodwin made us continue the practice match between the A and B teams at Fawkner park. Our entire uniform, books and bags were drenched as a result of that training session that ended at 5.40pm -.-""" I was dead sick, coughing and all, but i was running my guts out as hard as i could. I don't know, but i like to push myself. Many people think i'm crazy, and that i shouldn't exert too much strain on my body. Till now, i've always been ignoring their comments, but the fatigue's really getting a hold on me.

I caught the train home with Kev, and only got to my house at 7pm -.-" My eyes were bloodshot, i was cold and my blazer stunk because of the rainwater. The events of the past two weeks have really tired me out... all that homework, Soccer matches, BM SAC and tests.

Lord, though my eyes are weary... i'll always look up to you, knowing that you're always there.