Saturday, June 02, 2007

Neap-ending Day

I was travelling home from my last session of Neap Chemistry for the semester last Thursday when a shockwave of excruciating boredom overwhelmed me, compelling me to do something productive. I pulled out a pen and a piece of paper and started to write:

"Pulling out a pen and a sheet of paper definitely beats doing nothing for the next boring 40 minute train ride. This sheet of paper was uncreased, clean and spotless before i pulled it out and started scribbling all over it. Shows how quickly an innocent life can be tarnished, doesn't it?

It was terribly cold today. A congested chest and a stuffy nose only contributed to the overwhelming fatigue generated by a long day at school - a chemistry SAC that i flunked miserably and a Chemistry trial exam that pryed open my pretentious "know-all" cover to expose my incredibly limited knowledge of the subject.

It's 7.05PM now. I should be at home instead of wasting time on the train. But then again, what would i be doing at home? The very fact that the VCE exams are coming up in less than 2 weeks would probably drive my head into the stacks of practice exams already laid out for my disposal. I think venting my bitter and confused thoughts in a time of quiet reflection in a warm train carriage, away from the chilling cold wind outside, is a much better option.

There are so many people around me. We're all doing the same thing: travelling on a train, waiting to get home. Yet not one of them shares my thoughts. In fact, all of us would be thinking of something different, all looking forward to something unique. Cool. I guess that's what makes our characters different. What am i looking foward to? I want to do more preparation of VCE, but i know my weary mind will not permit me to. I'm looking forward to a warm shower, a song on the guitar and a good night's sleep.

The days seem to pass so quickly, so repetitively. Weeks fly by and soon what i thought would be an eternity would be just a stone's throw away, knocking at my doorstep. Could i be spending this time any better???? I don't think so.

Why do we have to study so much? I know the answer to that. It's because of the economy, everything's because of the economy. We need to study to surpass all the other potential contenders for that prized placement in that ideal course in that dream university. Hell! When we get to uni-dreamland, we study even more! We study even harder there cuz we want to get a good job that pays well. Hell! When we do get that job, we struggle our pants off and put our socks in our mouths in an attempt not to lose it! Inevitably, we will lose it. "But what will never be lost is the experience," many will say.

Ironic. What the hell are we going to do with this "prestigious" experience? Teach and mentor someone else to do the same thing over again? Yet another repetitive cycle! A "chasing after the wind" as King Soloman likes to put it.

I want to sing a sing on the guitar. Not to myself, but to someone i care about, just to let her know how much i care. I want to sit by the beach with her and appreciate what God has made. After all..."

The train reached the station just when the good part was going to start. Boy, the entire script sounds so emo! i don't know how i'd continue, but i guess i would have written:

"After all... isn't this why God made the sky so blue, the sun's rays radiant, and the oceans so vast?"

1 comment:

mueja said...