Fussy Wussy

I don't like indecisiveness. I detest it because it's a waste of time, and it confuses people. But i find myself being caught in a web of fussiness, in a tight tug-of-war. On one side, my friends and my passions are pulling me towards going for the North Sydney Exchange. On the other, my academic persuits, the cost, and the liabilities of taking a billet are telling me otherwise. Haiz... i made up my mind not to go last night, but i'm having second thoughts right now since Tommy's going too.

Politics. Why does everything have to revolve around that? Sigh... i kindda hate it. I really do. It comes into play even in the Futsal selections for North Sydney. If you don't know the captain, some Year 12 dude named Greg, your chances of getting into the team are as close as the two ends of the Great Wall.

I'm not the kindda person that likes to showboat on the field... i just do what's neccessary to get the job done. I prefer to let my feet do the talking, instead of babbling on and on about how good i am. So i don't think i'll be able to make it into the Futsal team even if i'm way better than the Year 12s skill-wise. Politics.

My forecast for the weekend is about 15 hours of work -.-" I've been doing homework through recess and lunch for the past three days, and i never seem to be able to get on top of my work. Jase's getting pretty pissed cuz i've been missing his "clean sheets". haha! Whenever i get high enough to see the top of the tall stack of books, my teachers never fail to add more to it -.-" I wonder when i'll be able to get to the top.

My sister called Lydia just then. I've come to realise that time is so precious. If i get an hour or two free from my homework, i'll treasure it. I spent an hour and a half with my sis after school today at MC, shopping for a present for Tab's birthday. My sis called Lyd, and i got to speak to her for 5 mins or so.

I mean.. i've learnt to treasure these moments more, now that time becomes so limited.

Slack Off? Dream On!

I never expected the jump from Year 10 to 11 to be so massive. It's really hit me quick and sudden, like a bolt of lightning. I haven't been able to blog in the past 6 days solely because of the heavy amount of school work. Sigh... it's only the 2nd week of school and i'm already running outta petrol.

But i thank God for my friends though. I kindda feel that we're all in this together, and they do support me. We had athletics trials yesterday. I jumped 5m for the long jump, ran 12.4s for 100m, and 1.07min for 400m. These scores are pretty dissapointing actually, especially for the runs. But everyone had funny timings, so i guess i can blame the dodgy time-takers =)) haha! I hope i'll be able to run for my House and for the school Aths team.

I went for the North Sydney Futsal trials during my two study periods today. The dudes - Turk, Tommy, Jin, Jase, Duc, Kev, Darryn, lil Joe, Laios and Johnny - were there as well. But most of them had no intention of representing the school for the North Sydney Exchange, they just wanted to have some fun. haha!

Anyway, the Year 12s formed two teams, and so did the Year 11s. We had a rotational system - winner in, loser out; while Mr. Rotella watched us closely from the bench. The team i was in wasn't the best, but we managed to beat all the others =) haha! Thanks to sheer committment from Jin, Jase, Duc and Darren. I hope i get selected.

The North Sydney Exchange issue is really wrecking my mind. I really want to represent my school in Sydney, and i want to gain some exposure and experience. However, i'm gonna be missing a weekend plus two days of school; which may prove to be a lot to catch up on. I'm already struggling to keep up with the relentlessly fast pace that my teachers are going at. And i'll be obliged to billet someone from Adelaide when our school hosts the next exchange. Sigh..

God, help me out!

The Long Walk Home

When i got to the train station this morning, i reached into my right pocket to get my wallet but it wasn't there -.-" I wanted to go back home to get it, but the train was about to leave. So yea, i walked through the open gateway and boarded the train. It was my first time boarding a train without my ticket.

I had a good day at school, except for the loads of home work i received. There goes my first weekend -.-" Sigh... It only gives a forecast of what the rest of the year's gonna be like. But i'll have to push on with an optimistic approach =)

We had swimming trials today. I don't mind swimming, i actually like it a little... but i hate to be in my bathers. lol! I clocked in at 38 seconds last year, but i swam my guts out this time for a 34! haha! Many of my friends told me that that was a good time. So i guess i'll be swimming for my house in the imminent Swim Carnival.

I don't know why, but my soccer skills have gone down the drain...again. I tend to get it over a short period every year. Well, i don't believe in "form", cuz i think it's a lame excuse to cover up a poor performance. But... i don't know. I just don't have the same feeling in my feet as i've had before. I've got poor ball control, and i misjudge the ball a lot. Sigh.. hope this will blow over soon enough.

There were ticket inspectors at Glen Waverley train station when i got back -.-" What a coincidence.. there NEVER used to be ticket inspectors there! It just had to happen on the day that i forgot to bring my wallet -.-" haha! But i managed to get through the blockage thanks to Anthony and Andrew. Thanks guys! I owe you guys one! haha! Finally, some true friends.

I had to walk home from the station because i couldn't get on a bus without a ticket. Welson, another true friend, tried to smuggle me his ticket after he got on the bus, but it was unsuccessful. Anyway, the walk home was extremely tiring considering the heavy bag on my back. But i took the time to appreciate nature. I stared into the radiant blue sky speckled with fluffy white clouds. Aww.. that was relaxing, and comforting. Thank God for his creations that give us a break when the world seems to be crumpling down on us =)

btw, jase walks like a chick :P

1st Late

Believe it or not, i woke up at 7.53am this morning and got to school just before 9am. That's about 1 hour and 7 minutes. haha! I think that's a record. I had a bad cold last night, so i took some medication which knocked me out. That's why i woke up so late today.

Anyway, i got to school 5 minutes late. But according to my tightarse form teacher, Mr. Janus, a minute late is still considered as a "late". So yea, i prepared myself for a lecture, and a detention, as i walked into the class. However, Leo ran up to me the moment i stepped into the classroom and told me to get out cuz he had already marked my name off the roll for me. lol! I dashed outta the classroom as fast as i could. Boy! Thanks Leo! I owe you one.

I'm looking at two giant spiders at the two corners of my room at the moment. It's 10:10pm now, and i have just completed my Business Management worksheets. Sigh... it's the second day of school and i'm already working so hard. Looks like i'm in for another big year.

I feel like a motor boat tracking across the atlantic ocean with only a quater-tank filled. Sigh.. i don't know if i can make it till the end of this year with flying colours. I don't even know what God has in stall of me, but i hope it'll be good.

I've made a committment to email a few friends in Singapore consistently throughout the year. Hope that it'll last.

I'm like a burning candle that flickers when the wind blows, but never dies out.

Thank God for that.

Lost

I'm unsure of every step i take. My numb mind is being blown over by strong currents of sudden gusts, and i don't know how long it'll last. Sigh... it was a GREAT pleasure to be able to see all my good buddies in school again today. I got drafted in 11D with Tommy, Leo, Laios, Darryn and Narayan. haha! I reckon we'll be able to win the Inter-form Soccer Tournament again this year. I'm pretty happy with my class, but i really miss chatting to Jase and Banh. Sigh... i guess we all have to make new good friends now and then. haha! Joce, i need you here!

Yea, my first day at school wasn't the best one could have. I mean, i felt so lost today. I didn't bring my lock, and so i had to carry all my books home - my bag weighed about 15kilograms -.-""" I had so many things to do on my mind. I lost my pump needle, misplaced my sim card, got some homework from my Business Management teacher, Mr.Dowling. I had to retrieve my blazer from the 2nd hand shop, buy some new pants, buy a new TI-89 graphics calculato,r and fill up the form for my Student Concession card. Yea, it's not funny at all.

Anyway, i guess that's the way it's gonna be for the next two years. I'm gonna be busy-as, and i'll just have to manage my time well.

God encouraged me a lot while i was doing my QT then, and i don't feel as stressed up now.

"This is what the Lord says: 'Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded,'..."
- Jeremiah 31:16

O Lord, i feel lost and troubled.
But i'll make it through because of you.