Friday, February 08, 2008

Faith-driven Gift

I've been feeling sorta guilty and depressed of late because I been feeling that God has taken his gift of writing songs and poems away from me. I've been re-writing and compiling all the poems i've written into a concise black book. In that process, i began to realise that though the quality of the poems have improved through the years, the frequency that i actually sit down and write has decreased to an even greater extent. I used to write one poem every week, and at times one poem a day, when i first started back in 2004. Then the downward spiral started. I don't even know how many poems i wrote last year, maybe 10 or so. I feel that i've been neglecting this gift God has given me, and now.. i find it hard to write a song or even a poem these days. There's no more inspiration.

Just a few days ago, i attempted to write a song which was just terrible, and i couldn't be bothered finishing it. Goes something like this:

UNTITLED - 4/2/08

I'm not high-soaring
I'm not even flying
I'm just a man who's trying to praise you.
Your love's unfailing
It is new each morning
Who am I that you care so much?

There's no song on my lips
To sing You
There's no tune on my heart
To play you
There's nothing I can do to please You
But I want you to know.
PS. I love you.

Sounds cliche, doesn't it?

Well, i was reading this book called "Where is God when things go wrong?" by John Blanchard which was recommended by Tim, which explores the pivotal question of why God allows "bad" things to happen? Why does he allow innocent people to die due to natural disasters? Why are there disabled children by birth? Why is the entire human history ruled by suffering?

In his book, Blanchard adequately answers these questions. I strongly encourage everyone to read it, it only takes an hour or so. Well, as i was reading it a week ago, something he said really inspired me to write a poem but i had pen and paper then and i was putting it off.. until i actually got my pen and poem book out today and prayed: "God, i'm here. Please don't take this gift away from me. Use me as you will".

Blanchard draws our attention to Job's example. In answering Job's desperate cry for justice, God says:

"Will the one who contends with the Almight correct him?...
Would you discredit my justice?
Would you condemn me to justify yourself?"
- Job 40: 1, 8

and through Isaiah He says:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55: 8-9

A Work Of Art

A beautiful world so cruelly flawed,
No wonder many ask: "Where is your God?"
Some eat to their heart's delight,
While many have no food in sight.
Innocent babies die at birth,
As natural disasters ravage the earth.
Homes are swept away by torrents of rain,
Is there an end to all this meaningless pain?
Yet my soul finds great solace,
That Almighty God has His reasons.
He brings times of joy and sorrow, pain and laughter,
All in His time right through the seasons.
Right from the start,
You knew how things were meant to be?
Who am i to question?
Who am i to ask?
O God of love,
O God of me.

+ zac 8/2/08

* inspired by John Blanchard's "Where is God when things go wrong?"

"... although God allows evil and suffering to coexist for a time, and for purposes we can never fully understand, they will one day be eliminated and the problems they produce will be perfectly and permanently solved." - John Blanchard

No comments: