God is Faithful

The two weeks have been rather hectic for me, but i wanna thank God for it. This was the week that i plummeted down into my lowest of moments psychologically. I don't think i've ever been this emotionally devastated in my entire life. I'm used to suppressing my feelings, and trying to stay happy despite the most horrid of circumstances. However, i couldn't help myself through this one.

The main cause of my close shave with depression is my conception of friendship. It's hard to make good friends at Uni. I've had the honour of getting to know a some good people in my Physio course: Josh, Matt, Winsen, Mary, Nooren, Anita, Tim, Jack, Erica. But it's hard to form long-lasting friendships at this stage in life... as for now, i can't see my friendships with these people developing into life-lasting ones simply because it's like a "touch-and-go" routine where you see them for a few hours each day and go "see ya tmr, bud!".. and the cycle repeats itself like a boring routine. But i'm not putting a lid on these friendships just yet... who knows what might happen!

This started me thinking about who my true friends really were... In reference to "true friends", i mean friends that i can feel truly comfortable with, confide in, trust in. Friends who love me, and who i love and treasure deeply. I thought about it hard, and i came up with just a three people: Joce, Tommy, and Tim (the giant midget). Harish, Jase and Anthony were really close friends now, but Hash is doing NS in Sinagapore now. I don't get to see Anthony much cuz he's doing Comm/Law at Monash. And Jase is too busy with his gf, Viv.

I was really disheartened because i used to hang out with the "MHS Soccer Dudes" so much, and we always had each others backs and all. We played futsal, had lunches and hung out so much together... to the extent that i kindda took it for granted. I really miss you guys. Thankfully, i still get to see some of them in Melb Uni occasionally like Stevie T, Turk, Tommy, Jin, Phan ( on sat), Jonno, Jack, lil Joe, Jase. But we seem much more separated now..

I felt very low and dejected because i felt that i didn't have any true friends. Sure, it would be so much easier if i started going clubbing, swear a bit more, and be satisfied with "cool" and "casual" friends instead of deeper and more meaningful friendships. Most of the Physios are all about getting drunk, having a fun night out, grabbing a quickie, chop and change gf's along the way.. but i want something much deeper than that. So i prayed and i put my faith in God. It was a real struggle putting my faith in him because of his intangible nature..

Mon got a lil bit better when i got to have some meaningful chats with my friends at Uni - Josh, Matt and Winsen. On Tues, Chris and I joined a Christian Union bible study group. There were only about 7 of us, but i absolutely enjoyed the fellowship and discussion with the people there! Chris and i went down to the Gloria Jeans on Swanston Street to grab a cup of iced coffee, and we had an awesome chat. Weds was pretty good too, got to know Matt a whole lot more.

Thurs was a complete MIND-BLOWER. I was going to study for a bit before meeting up with Tommy and Jin, but i ended up having coffee with Nooren, Mary and Anita. I got to know them a whole lot more, and they're REALLY REALLY interesting people. Mary and Nooren told me a lot about their Mauritian culture, their way of life, their opinions about Aussie culture, and even their obsession with BOLLYWOOD! haha! That was hilarious! After that, i met up with Jin and Tommy for lunch at this place called Kun Ming (we used to go there quite frequently back when we were in Highschool). Having lunch there really brought back some precious nostalgic memories of the past.. it was a true delight catching up with them. After that, we went to the Law Library to study for a bit. I think the best part of the day was when Tommy and i had a long chat in the cold outside Seasons while waiting for my mum to come. We chatted about a LOAD of stuff. Tommy, thanks for everything bud.. i thank God for you! :)

Had a good chat with Nic yesterday too... started off with the weather being too cold for her to the extent that she decided to skip her tutorial... to the fact that she turned herself into an emo by cutting her fringe off, painting her eyelids black, and pricking her fingers with a sewing needle... to my comment that she belongs to the Emo Corner at Flinders Station... to the fact that she looks like a clown (all she needs is a red nose!).

This entire week serves as a testimony that God hears my prayers and that he's always faithful. I thank God for all my friends. Thank God that nic's chose to come tmr too! Hope she'll enjoy herself.

God's faithful, isn't he?

I wrote this song today:

You Rescued Me

Verse
Lord, I'm lost without you
I don't know what to do
All my friends have moved on
And I'm just left on my own
Teach me to be
Just who you made me to be
I wanna live like you
So won't you make me brand new...today

Pre-chorus
Today, though I'm weak and weary
I'll say, that the Lord is my strength!

Chorus
You are my God
My Faithful One
Your Love is all I'll ever need
You carried me through
When I couldn't see
You heard my cry
And you rescued me
Lord, i'm grateful

God + zac
21/12/08