Strength

I have studied many times
The marble which was chiseled for me -
A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor
In truth it pictures not my destination
But my life.
For love was offered me, and I shrank from its disillusionment;
Sorrow knocked at my door, but i was afraid
Ambition called to me, but i dreaded the chances.
Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life
And now I know that we must lift the sail
And catch the winds of destiny
Wherever they drive the boat.
To put meaning in one's life may end in madness,
But life without meaning is the torture
Of restlessness and vague desire -
It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid.

- Edgar Lee Masters

I finished reading John Eldredge's Wild At Heart last week and i must say that it has encouraged to look at life in a totally new perspective. He's made me aware that we serve a God of danger and adventure. He has put into the heart of every man a desire for a battle, and it is the deprivation of this that is making most men (including me) bored with life. Eldredge has inspired me to seek God for an undiscovered strength that i may become a true man, an adventure to live for, and a beauty to rescue.

One vital lesson that i've learned from Eldredge's wisdom is that above all a woman looks for in a man: height, looks, charisma, etc. many fail to recognise their need for a man's strength. It would be utter folly to think that "a man's strength" refers to the size of his biceps and the width of his shoulders.

The main reason why many relationships don't last is because the men lack strength, they don't think that they have what it takes and hence, they seek validation in women. They think that they are "strong" because a girl loves them. Ponder that point.

"Most men want the maiden without any sort of cost to themselves. They want all the joys of the beauty without any of the woes of the battle. This is the sinister nature of pornography - enjoying the woman at her expense. Pornography is what happens when a man insists on being energized by a woman; he uses her to get a feeling that he is a man. It is a false strength, as I've said, because it depends on an outside source rather than emanating from deep within his center. And it is the paragon of selfishness. He offers nothing and takes everything."

Isn't it sad how true this is? Eldredge states that every woman needs to know that she is exquisite and exotic and chosen. She seeks validation to the questions: Will you pursue me? Do you delight in me? Will you fight for me? It's rather easy to give affirmation to these questions, but very few men have really fought enough battles, relied on God enough to find their true strength. Here's what happens when a man fails to meet a woman's desperate cry to be fought for.

"When a man withholds himself from his woman, he leaves her without the life only he can bring... A man who leaves his wife with the children and the bills to go and find another, easier life has denied them his strength. He has sacrificed them when he should have sacrificed his strength for them. What makes Maximus or William Wallace so heroic is simply this: They are willing to die to set others free."

Eldredge speaks of a battle to fight, a journey that all men have to go through in order to find their true strength which stems from Christ. It is a tough battle which breeds tough men.

"The masculine journey takes a man away from the woman so that he might return to her. He goes to find his strength; he returns to offer it. He tears down the walls of the tower that has geld her with his words and with his actions. He speaks to her heart's deepest question in a thousand ways. Yes, you are lovely. Yes, there is one who will fight for you. But because most men have not yet fought the battle, most women are still in the tower."

Eldredge's wisdom has brought comfort to my heart. I'm in no way the "alpha male". God hasn't made me tall. Neither has he given me any part of David's dashing charm. I'm not the funniest of guys nor the sportiest of them. Yet i am comforted by the fact that true strength does not stem from one's physical strength or gung-ho attitude. Instead, it's derived from one's ability to humble themselves before God, to surrender it all to Him in faith, to fight the battle, and at the very end to remain standing; victorious.