Friday, May 22, 2009

Quotes...

Whenever I come across a good quote, I write it down on stickies in the hope that I'll do something useful with them some time in the future. I'm cleaning up my table now and I just thought I'd post them up online before I throw the stickies away.

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" People can be loud, demanding, rude when they are in need but behind that wall of 'look' and 'manner' lie the unmistakably perfect masterpiece of the Creator - a human being with thoughts and feelings" - Mink

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"After a while, I just don't care much if this church is Baptist or Pentecostal, for we all worship one God - that is Christ Jesus. I think our Lord is a very creative Person, and He wouldn't pick only one colour because it'd be a little too boring for Him." - Mink

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"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit." - an email from Sha

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"I don't think he likes me anymore... I mean, me and Jan!"
- Ann Lee Chin

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"Yum! Andrea's birthday cake is so nice! It's better than Julia's!"
- Ann Lee Chin

*She didn't realise Julia was right beside her* -.-"

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This week's been pretty easy-going.. not too stressed with work (although the exams are around the corner and I should really be getting stuck into my books). The most annoying part of my week is having to nurse my hip. I still don't know what it is.. probably a minor fracture.

Everyone seems to be getting injured. My mum decided to go play badminton with my Dad at Grace church last night. She hadn't played sport in a VERY LONG time and, hence, she was unfit. Not long after Sha and I came back from our soccer training session, we received a call from mum saying that she thinks that she might have torn her Achilles tendon -.-""

I assessed her when she got back and confirmed that she'd a complete rupture -.-" I felt really helpless as a Physio student because I couldn't do anything to treat her.

I've been procrastinating since 10am this morning.. I better get back to work.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Nat!

Thank you, Lord for your Son.
Thank you for this day
And for all the ups and downs it brings
For the ups because they bring joy;
They give vibrancy and meaning to an otherwise dull life
For the downs because they help me see You clearly
They are the foundation for Hope
I cherish the times that I can rest in Your strength
It's through them that I get to know You better
It's in them that I feel... Strong.

19/5/09

The highlight of my weekend was receiving a letter from Nat! Frankly, I was quite disappointed with her first letter which I received 2 weeks ago because it was impersonal. This one, on the other hand, was real and sincere! She even drew pictures for each of us (Gab, Haney, Grace, and I). I'm gonna scan it and upload later on.

The lowlight would be getting injured during Sunday futsal. The opposition were agitated as we came from 2 goals down to leave them chasing us with 2 minutes to go at 5-3. Amidst all of that, some dude cleaned me up from behind after I took a shot. I lost my balance and landed abruptly on my behind (Dad reckons I should stop using the word "arse"). It's worse than I thought.. i think I might have done a hairline fracture to my hip joint. Pain shoots up my back whenever I try to run or squat. Oh well, looks like I'm out of action for 2 weeks.

I was pretty frustrated on the sidelines as I watched my futsal team bow out over penalties after a ridiculous 1-1 draw to Nigel's team -.-""" They weren't that good.. we were just disappointing..

Oh yes, I'll be going for a MRI brain scan today! Hope they don't find anything wrong with me!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A Cold Autumn Morning

I like breathing out a mist with every breath. It gives expiration an interesting twist, and it reminds me that I’m still respiring. Breathing is such an automatic process; a life-giving necessity that we take for granted. How many times in our busy day do we actually get to give our autonomic system a break and take a voluntary breath?

I’m glad that I’ve stopped to take a breath this chilly morning. Winter’s just around the corner and it’s making its presence felt already. There’s a cold front beaming over Melbourne this entire week with heavy showers and an average daily temperature range of 5-13 degrees. COLD! Rain hammered down incessantly through the night and it has left almost everything wet – the grass on South lawn, that leaves of the trees, the roads, the signboards, the statue in front of Ballieu library, even the person walking past me; somehow all rubbed shoulders with the phenomenon of falling clouds we call “rain”.

I got to Melbourne Uni really early this morning and the libraries aren’t open till 8.30am so I thought I’d blog for a bit. It’s a hobby of mine that I’ve neglected for a significant while. It feels so peaceful seated on a ledge just in front of the Ballieu library just admiring the berth of the sun’s rays greeting the green grass with a warm hug. I envy the grass… wouldn’t it be cool to wake up to a warm hug each cold winter morning?

Life’s been a little puzzling to me over the last month or so. I’m beginning to catch a glimpse of what Solomon meant when he said that everything on earth is futile; a “chasing after the wind”. Sports – I love soccer but the joy and fulfillment that it brings only lasts for bouts of 90 minutes, and it’s severely limited in its magnitude. The same concept applies to music and movies. There’s definitely more to life than sports, music, and movies. There are parties happening every weekend – people drink, dance, and get wasted – a fun night where you don’t have to feel responsible for your actions; a night lost in the drug highs of alcohol. Is life only about time-fillers that bring temporary joy.

The only thing in life that seems to have value is relationship. Through the course of this week, I found myself thanking God for the friends He's given me and all the fun (although temporary) that we shared together.

I need a real meaning and purpose in my life. I want something, someone to live for...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I Need You, Lord...

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills-
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth."
- Psalm 121: 1-2

I've been treading through a vast desert of spiritual dryness over the past few months. They're some of the most difficult times I've ever been through. Not long ago, I began to lose my passion and love for serving God. I admit to being extremely sloppy and unmotivated in serving Fungus - and i am sorry.

I've been feeling an unexpected sense of utter spiritual dryness. I seek God through his Word, prayer, and worship.. but I don't feel the sense of fulfillment that I had been receiving in the past. It's been very dejecting, and honestly, I've been lingering on the verge of depression.

I struggled intensely within my mind trying to rationalise why I wasn't "feeling" God; why I felt so distant from my friends; why I didn't feel comfortable with people, and why I felt so broken and left out of the world. I found myself getting increasingly susceptible to sin; I was giving in to lusts and I was seeking fulfillment in many other places. Guilt started to overwhelm me, and it compounded my separation from God.

While I was worshiping God on Easter Sunday morning, I was hit with an epiphany. I gained a new perspective of how innately sinful I am; of how unworthy I was to worship God; and yet He loves me. I reflected on my actions over the last few months, and I finally realised what God was teaching me.

I was oblivious to the fact that whilst I was seeking God, I was also seeking validation and fulfillment through my friendships, television, and soccer. Whenever I felt down, I would feel a deep craving to vent my bottled-up emotions on the soccer pitch. Whenever I was bored or depressed, I'd pop myself in front of the TV to watch movies or a soccer match. Whenever I needed encouragement, I would go on Facebook or Hotmail hoping to receive a comment or an email of exhortation. When I needed validation, I'd ask a few friends out for a coffee or a movie.

Although many of these things are perfectly fine, they only temporarily filled a void that only seemed to be getting deeper with each bout of false fulfillment.

I realised that through the last 4 years, I had subconsciously been seeking fulfillment in other relationships, be it with friends or sport, rather than in my relationship with God!

I'm still trying to find my feet on God's path for me, and I pray that He will renew my love for serving Him.

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On a lighter note, Gab left for Singapore last night to begin his 2 year stint in the army. My bet is that he'll pick up a Singaporean girl and bring her back! :)
If you're reading this, I wish you a joyful time in the army.. remember to KEEP PRAYING... i'll be praying for you too, bro! :)

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Report: Thailand Mission Trip

I wrote a report on our mission trip to Thailand for FGA's monthly magazine.

I thought I'd put it up:

“My expression towards the end of the trip was like the total opposite to my expression at the start of the trip... in the beginning I was like, all apathetic and stuff and towards the end I was like a hyperactive jihad man of hilarity and doom.” – Andrew Au

I have never seen a change in anyone that can match up to Andrew’s incredibly inspiring conversion from a nihistic pessimist chained down by many years of self-alienation and isolation into a wittingly hilarious man who has gained acceptance and a sense of belonging in Christ.
As the trip progressed, the group continually showed Andrew that he was valued and very well loved. Our numerous meaningful conversations allowed Andrew to open up and reveal the internal conflicts and struggles that he faced. He told us that it was a fear of rejection, coupled with his inability to trust others, which was the underlying reason for his self-alienation. I remember telling him that we chatted to him and prayed for him not because we had to, but because we genuinely love him. I could see that he did not believe me at the start, but our continual acts of love eventually convinced him. The love of Christ enabled him to “break free” from his shell of bondage and rediscover his exceedingly entertaining sense of humour.
Our mission trip to Thailand stands as a fervent testament of God’s faithfulness. His hand was with us from the beginning to the end of the trip; continually filling our hearts with courage and encouragement.

Our pioneering mission trip for Fungus consisted of a team of 7 lead by Quentin Loke. Despite the small size of the team, there was a contrasting array of different personalities in the persons of Gabriel Goh, Haney Kang, Grace Ling, Andrew Au, Brian, Quentin Loke, and Isaac. Some were very out-going and enthusiastic, whilst others preferred to keep to themselves. We had several training sessions and fundraisers prior to the trip. However, the stigma of formality and stark personality clashes were obstacles that restricted us from getting to know each other genuinely. Personally, I felt that it was going to be a difficult challenge to generate synergy within the group through deep friendships.

Against all my expectations, God filled our group with great joviality and unity. Everyone seemed genuinely interested in sharing their lives and struggles with the others; while the others seemed even more interested to listen. Our morning devotions were a particular highlight for me. Regardless of the topic, we could sense a strong presence of the Holy Spirit within our midst speaking to us. We would share with open hearts and in complete trust. I can still remember the powerful prayers that we prayed over one another – I felt encouraged and my spirit was joyful within me because of our love for one another demonstrated through fervent prayer.
God blessed our fellowship. Our trip to north-eastern Bangkok was a 10 hour van ride. During the ride, he filled our conversations with heart-wrenching humour. Andrew and Haney had deep philosophical discussions concerning ethics and food wastage that were simply hilarious. There was no end to the laughter and noise within the van.

Compassion runs projects in various towns in Thailand. Each project consists of a church, a multi-purpose area, and a canteen. The Compassion staff overseeing each project consist of a minimum of 1 pastor, 1 director, 2 child workers, 2 teachers, and a cook (food is essential!). We spent most of our time at project TH-422 in a town called “XXX” northeast of Bangkok. I can still remember the sheer excitement on the faces of the children upon our first arrival. There were two major highlights during my stay at TH-422.

Firstly, I got to meet my sponsor child, Nat. Gabriel, Grace, Haney and I decided to sponsor a child for $44/month a month prior to the mission trip. What I had regarded as a mere donation to a charitable foundation turned out to be a gift of love to someone I genuinely care for. I wasn’t particularly looking forward to meeting Nat, yet an overwhelming sense of excitement filled my heart when I first saw her. She was beautiful! She had silky brown hair, hazel eyes that emanated innocence, and a smile that made my heart go soft and feeble. We got to know her more of the span of two days. Our interaction was interesting because of the language barrier – she couldn’t understand English, while we were as good as deaf to her. We communicated through the use of verbal “noises”, facial gestures, hand signs, and pointing to objects. She loved taking pictures with our cameras – she made a significant contribution to the 3,500+ photos we captured on the trip collectively. I remember the joy on her face whenever we gave her a hug or performed a funny gesture. My heart was, in turn, filled with an inexpressible joy accompanied by a sense of complete fulfilment. By God’s grace, I had brought some joy into someone’s life!

We visited Nat’s home to get a first-hand experience of her lifestyle. Her father works as a janitor at the local school while her mum sells food by the roadside. They live with Nat’s grandmother at the moment, but they are in the process of saving up for a house of their own. It was comforting to know how our small contribution of $44/month helped give Nat an education and food for most of the week. However, our hearts were wrenched when we heard about the 3,000 baht (AUD 150) loan her mother had to take up to buy a rice-cooker, other essentials and contingency food for the family. We felt compelled to help, so we relieved them of their debt. In just two days, I developed a strong bond of love for Nat despite the fact that I wasn’t able to mutter a single comprehensible word to her. I think about her even till this day, and I still pray for her.

Sponsoring a child and visiting them makes a real difference in their life; it is by far, the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. Being able to put a smile on a face that has been disfigured by poverty brings a transcendental joy and a fulfilment like no other. I urge you, as reflectors of Jesus’ love, to sponsor a child and make a difference in their life.

I developed an extreme admiration for the compassion staff (pastors, translators, child workers, cooks, etc.). I admired them because they had made a decision to sacrifice their lives to spend every day showing God’s love to children who so desperately need it. I envied them because they had such meaning and purpose in their lives. My admiration for them peaked into action. I want to spend every single day God grants me showing his love to others – there’s nothing more fulfilling than that! Each compassion staff had unknowingly inspired me through their selfless actions to live selflessly.

The second highlight of the trip was the way the Holy Spirit swept through the room as we worshipped and praised our Almighty God. We were to lead the youth group program on that Sunday – we had a skit prepared, a few worship songs in mind, and I was to deliver a message. To our folly, we were severely unprepared: we made significant amendments to the casting of our skit the night before; we were unsure of how we were to overcome the language barrier in worship; I changed my intended message entirely at 12am the night before as I felt lead by the Spirit. We were nervous out our skin as we gathered for devotions that Sunday morning. Significantly, Quentin shared about the empowerment of the Holy Spirit and acknowledging that we can’t do anything by our own efforts apart from Christ. I remember us praying fervently for the Spirit to empower us and to grant us faith that day.

When we got to the project (TH-422), we were still unprepared. We were still nervous. God was priming our hearts up for His grand entrance. Against the odds, we managed to pull off our skit in an understandable fashion, and I believe my message spoke to a few in the audience. But what I remember most is the worship. We were eager for the youths to worship in their tongue, but we didn’t know any Thai Christian songs! Minutes prior to the worship session, we recalled hearing their guitarist playing the tunes of “One Way” and “Blessed Be the Name of the Lord”. We decided to sing those songs. Worship started off on a slow pace but it grew into a blazing furnace (physically and spiritually!) within minutes. Quentin, Grace and I started jumping to the tune of “One way, Jesus” and a couple of the others followed. Grace then explained that we were jumping because we were excited about praising God, and that God would be pleased with us when He sees us worshipping him with such enthusiasm and passion. Once that said, the kids, aged 7-17, started jumping and praising God at the top of their lungs! They sang in Thai, while we sang in English. There was no stopping them. They held our hands and jumped with us, praising God amidst all their troubles. There was no stopping them; we repeated the songs over and over again until we were too tired to continue. The presence of the Holy Spirit was remarkably strong in that place. I know that hearts were convicted and lives were changed. God had raised the level of worship to whole new dimension. I can picture the day when “every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is Lord!”

The trip to Thailand was nothing short of life changing for me. I experienced what it truly means to find joy in the midst of tribulations, to worship God and rejoice in his sovereignty in the midst of real poverty. The significance of my problems paled in comparison to those experienced by these Thai children – I pray that my reaction to trials may be similar to theirs. Above all, this trip has given me a glimpse of what it truly means to be living each day for God; to show his love to anyone every day. I’m motivated to love my friends and my adversaries in sport, in university, in Fungus, in church, and at home. God has sparked a little flame within me; a desire to do some sort of mission work in the future. I know it’s more than a possibility. Lastly, I thank God for all the deep bonds of friendship that were woven tightly during the course of the trip. I know they will stand the test of time.

I strongly encourage you to take up the chance to go on a mission trip should the opportunity present itself.

Isaac
A Fool For Christ